Well it's been about 9 days since the elbow was done. The wrapping came off Wednesday and there will be no cast. It's kind of bittersweet because the doctor couldn't do what he had wanted to do which was put something on the end of a bone with a ball on it to help it move better. When he got in there, he discovered there was no cartilage left and part of a bone was missing. So he just cleaned out everything really good and tightened up a ligament. He told me the only other option was to do a total elbow replacement, but I am too young to do that now. He said I am not to lift anything more than 2 pounds with that arm and no more than 15 pounds with the right arm ever again. So we left and the more I thought about it, everything began to sink in and I started crying, I'm tearing up even as I type this. I still don't know what to think or feel.
But it still remains that God knew all of this and it's part of His plan for me. Being a part of Casting Crowns is the most terrifying thing I have ever done, but because He called me to it, I love my job. So it must be that if the plan is changing, I will be just as happy with that (although I can't really imagine doing anything else, and I'm not saying I'm quitting). I'm just saying that I will be most happy doing whatever I'm called to (and so will you!) Maybe some more insight will come, but I'm still trying to figure it out in my head.
I recorded some vocals for the new record the day before I saw the doctor (yes both arms were either in a cast or wrapped up so that was interesting) and also after I saw him. So in less than a day singing words like "face down, having nothing else to cling to" had a different meaning to me.
I am starting to move my elbow some, but it's difficult. I can barely touch my face with my fingertips so I definitely can't hold a violin right now. I'm not sure how long it will take before I can even try to play it. Only time will tell now. You all will never know how much I appreciate all of your prayers. Thank you!